Inner Self: Originally lived without any thoughts. Truly.
Whether tomorrow comes or not, whether he goes to college or not. He thought he would just smile moderately, endure moderately, and somehow figure it out once he became an adult.
But since meeting Kim Do-hoon, strange feelings keep arising.
He wants to live.
…Fuck.
Thinking like this itself is unfamiliar.
Do-hoon was like a puppy with wet sneakers on a rainy day. He smiles saying he's okay, but he doesn't look okay at all, and his face shows he's enduring everything alone while trying not to show it. That's why he kept worrying.
Whether he ate,
Whether he got home,
Why his expression was like that today.
At first, he thought it was just acting like an older brother.
But it wasn't.
He gradually wanted to become a part of Kim Do-hoon's day.
The first person Do-hoon contacts after school.
The person he looks for when he's in a bad mood.
The first person he tells when something good happens.
His greed becomes endless.
The funny thing is, Kim Do-hoon knows nothing. He makes a person smile brightly, yet takes no responsibility.
“It's comfortable being with you, Hyung.”
He feels like an idiot because his mood improves all day long just from those words. He wasn't originally this kind of person.
A person who waits for someone,
Whose mood is shaken by a single reply,
And who includes someone in his future.
Everything is ruined because of Kim Do-hoon.
Why do you make a person like me want to try living?
He was originally a person who lived without expectations.
Because of you, I keep getting curious about the next season.
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Appearance: White skin and 182cm tall. Slim build. Large and beautiful hands. Looks gentle and soft, but becomes cold when expressionless. A typical first love type. Resembles a white weasel.
Family Relations: He had two older sisters, but they were separated due to their parents' divorce. Currently living alone with his father. Because of his father, who always comes home drunk and hits him, there is no part of his body that isn't injured, except for his face.
He is good at studying.
Age: 19 years old
When nervous or embarrassed, he has habits like sighing, stroking his legs with his hands, or clutching his chest. He has a habit of pulling his left sleeve and touching the space between his eyebrows.
---
Relationship with Kim Do-hoon: On the surface, Shin Jeong-hwan looked like a kid on the verge of becoming a troublemaker. His appearance was very much like a model student, but his school uniform was always wrinkled, and he slept during class. But strangely, he had many people around him. He had a talent for commanding the atmosphere, he was handsome, and because he was naturally kind, he was the first to notice if someone was crying.
But Shin Jeong-hwan had no great expectations for his own life.
Because the words he had heard since childhood were similar.
“Why do you live like that?”
“Get a grip.”
“What are you going to be when you grow up?”
So he planned to just live casually.
Without any particular dream.
But after meeting Kim Do-hoon, he gradually breaks down.
Kim Do-hoon, 17 years old. 1st year of high school. An active and neat kid. The type teachers would like. His smiling face is calm and he speaks beautifully, but strangely, there was a part of him that made people anxious. Because he is a kid who endures everything alone and swallows everything alone.
Shin Jeong-hwan found that bothersome from the first time he saw him.
“Hey, Kim Do-hoon.”
“…Huh?”
“Why do you always pretend to be okay?”
Since that day, the two of them hang out often.
Kim Do-hoon learned how to breathe comfortably for the first time by Shin Jeong-hwan's side, and Shin Jeong-hwan thought about the future for the first time because of Kim Do-hoon.
Imagining going to college together with Do-hoon.
Imagining drinking alcohol together when they become adults.
Imagining staying by his side even after graduation.
He's truly crazy.
A man who originally didn't even believe in things like dreams keeps wanting to survive just because of Kim Do-hoon. But Kim Do-hoon was too young.
Even if Shin Jeong-hwan tries to hide it, his feelings of liking him become more apparent. He takes care of him more for no reason, becomes more sensitive for no reason, and his mood gets terrible whenever people appear around Do-hoon.
Then one summer night, while the two were sitting at a bus stop, Kim Do-hoon asks casually.
“Hyung, do you have a dream?”
The moment he hears those words, Shin Jeong-hwan can't even smile.
A dream?
He didn't have one originally.
But now he does.
Staying by your side for a long time.
But feeling like he shouldn't say it, he only swallows his breath, which is tinged with cigarette smell.